Mike Pence's Penis
Own Mike Pence's Penis
Mike Pence thinks he has the right to control your body.
Now, you can control his.
Mike Pence thinks he has the right to control women's bodies. Now, you can control his. For the low, low price of literally any donation you feel like giving, YOU can own Mike Pence's Penis! Plus, you'll have officially given more money to charity than his boss Donald Trump has reportedly given since 2010! That's right: we own Mike Pence's Penis. And now, so can you.
Buy today, and you will receive an official "Letter of Ownership" proving that you own Mike Pence's Penis! Show it off to all your friends! Throw darts at it! Feed it to the neighbor's dog! Really, you can do whatever you want to do with it! Just grab a hold, and it's yours.
Oh yeah, and here's the best part:
All proceeds go to Planned Parenthood.
So come on! What are you waiting for? Own Mike Pence's Penis today!
(*By "Mike Pence's Penis," we also mean "dot com." In all references. Obviously. Don't sue, Donald. Or Mike. But mostly Donald.)